Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes, I wonder about him. He was devastated. I called him about a business matter, but he mentioned his pain. I couldn’t ignore his grief. His father died. I told him I understood. I could relate to him losing someone he loved, because I’d lost someone recently, too. I told him it would take time to heal, and how crazy family can be during a time of loss because everyone is trying to show the deceased how much they were loved and appreciated. There’s not a blueprint for how to grieve. Everyone does it differently. I wonder if he remembers my words.

I heard he lost his job because he started drinking. I guess he was trying to numb the pain. It feels prideful for me to say this, but sometimes I wonder if he remembers our conversation. I would call and check on him if I had his number. To be honest, I don’t even recall his name. I just remember the pain behind the voice on the other end of the phone. I wonder if he remembers that someone cared, and understood. I guess I still care, even now. I hope he’s doing well. I hope he’s healing.

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Throwback Thursday

Yes, it’s still a thing! 😀

The Post-A-Day Blog Challenge is almost over and I am patting myself on the back for keeping up with it! So, just in case you missed it, I am going to recap and list what I’ve posted so far.  Here goes!

  • I started this challenge a day late with my first post in 3 months, Back To Life.
  • If you are into Science Fiction, you might enjoy Ripples. (I plan on continuing this story! Part 2 is coming soon!)
  • I’ve been trying to write a story to the picture featured in this post for AGES! It finally came together! If you are into Women’s Fiction, Sound Sleeper is for you!
  • I shared a link to a vlog about a saddening incident that occurred in my community. It’s worth hearing what this vlogger has to say about being Black In America.
  • If you have a writer, painter, singer, or artist of any type in your sphere, you NEED to understand how to care for them! They are fragile creatures! Take a moment to read The Care and Feeding of Your Creative One, then apply the lessons learned. They will thank you.
  • I haven’t written a poem in a while. Step by Step was inspired by a scripture that says, “don’t despise a day of small beginnings.” Take a read! Be inspired!
  • The Painting is a story about a budding romance. The image selected was the inspiration for this story.
  • So far, Hell Hound, is my favorite post in this challenge! I let my hair down and let my twisted sense of humor come out to play! 😀 This was inspired by two writing prompts. Take a read if you are looking for a laugh!
  • Another post inspired by a writing prompt that asked a simple question: When was the last time you said, “I love you.” You may need a Kleenex for this one.
  • I needed to vent. So this post is about how Tired I was. I was having a challenging existence and you all are great listeners. Thank you for being there!
  • Dear Vonnie was last week’s Throwback Thursday #TBT post. It’s a snippet of a larger story. In this tale, a mother is seeking forgiveness from her estranged daughter.
  • Peace is a post that is all about you. Protect your emotion space, friend.
  • 20 is a reflective post about my daughter crossing the threshold into a new decade.
  • It’s Not My Time is my philosophy on being content with the season you are in. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this piece!
  • Carry My Burdens Away was inspired by another writing prompt. This story touches a lot of things: The danger of keeping traditions of tradition’s sake, sacrifice, shunning, assisted suicide…
  • And finally, The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…no…not Christmas, but the first day of school! Congrats to all you parents who survived the summer!

The Challenge continues! Be sure to tune in tomorrow! I have NO IDEA what I am going to write, yet! But I’m sure I’ll come up with something interesting! Until tomorrow, good night!

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Throwback Thursday Poetry

I’m continuing the #AtoZChallenge with P for poetry.

I stumbled upon this poem in the notes on my Facebook page. I wrote this piece in 2009 after releasing a few toxic people from my life. Sometimes, the people you love and care about are the ones that hurt you most. Letting them go isn’t cold blooded. It’s self care.

If you are dealing with toxic people in your life, may this poem, Thanks to You, offer you some strength and encouragement. Enjoy!

Here’s a little musical inspiration for you, too!

She

This poem is from my book, Persistence of Vision. It was inspired by artwork of Clint Brown. This image is a part of a series called The Plague Drawings. Special thanks to Clint Brown for allowing me to share his work.

Image from The Plague Drawings, used with permission.
Hollow Embrace by Clint Brown

She

What began as exploratory curiosity
eventually led to a single rendezvous,
in a room hidden from
the light of day,
but quickly
turned into frequent assignations,
and innumerable stolen moments
of explosive passion and lust
only to abruptly end
with final breaths
of regret.

If She gave too much
he took more than his share
and demanded more still
to feed his ego’s insatiable
appetite for her tender flesh.
Shameless suppliant,
foolish guttersnipe!
She bathed him with amorous
words and lofty immemorial fantasies
of him being Her first and evermore immorato
and Her being The One his soul long for.
Yet, was not his soul,
but his loins alone
that longed for Her.

She believed his lies
of the time being too soon
and his desire to know
Her deepest thoughts
and emotions before
he could present Her as his
crowned jewel
until
She saw him in the arms of another
who did not love him as well as She.
But he courted her
and presented her to all he knew
and flaunted her
as though she were new to the world,
but she wasn’t worthy,
there was no way
she knew how to speak to his soul
as She had done
in their clandestine encounters.

Could She be so easily replaced?

Truth settled in Her heart
and shattered its walls.
He was never Hers
and never intended to be.
So, She went back to their hiding place
and cried over the cessation
of his attention
and welcomed Quietus
as if it were Her next
romantic pursuit
and clung to it
wishing it was he
taking her to rest.

Seth

I’ve missed a few Throwback Thursdays! I could not disappoint you (or myself) for yet, another week! Today’s piece is about death and loss and rebirth. Enjoy!

Nikewrites Blog

He held this new creation in his arms.
Oh, how his wife had suffered.
Two before, born and lived
Only to have one slay the other.
The living son was banished
A piece of her heart left with them.
She thought all was lost,
Until her belly swelled with life once more.
Light came back to her eyes.
She glowed.
Her sense of purpose was restored.
She was made to be a mother.
She did it so well,
That many times he thought
She was created first.
He was happy that she was restored
But he was concerned.
Confusion had slithered into their lives before.
What would happen with this child?
If they had another son,
Would brother kill brother again?
The child squirmed in his arms,
Pressing closer to his father for warmth,
Seeking comfort and protection.
He vowed to be a better father this time.
No harm would…

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Empty Chairs

empty chair

Today’s #TBT story was inspired by a writing prompt about an empty chair and a snippet of a documentary I saw years ago. It’s a bit of a sad story, but I hope you enjoy it!

Nikewrites Blog

empty chair

 

I was angry. Even though two years had passed, the pain was still deep. I understood her attempt at an apology was meant to bring closure to me and my family, but I felt like she was just trying to ease her conscience. It didn’t stop me from wondering what kind of animal she raised. There wasn’t anything that she or her son could say to ease the pain. I stopped short of wishing her son dead. I wasn’t cold enough or hateful enough to wish this kind of pain on anyone else.

There isn’t a word that describes the loss of child. There’s simply a void – a painful, sickening,  and overwhelming void. A piece of my heart died. The person that was a physical part of me for nine months, who I nursed and held in my arms, that looked up to me with loving and…

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Alone

Today’s #TBT piece is the first post from 2014’s A to Z challenge. For some people, being alone is a frightful thought! But, it’s not a bad thing to spend some time by yourself. “Alone is not lonely.” Remember that!

Nikewrites Blog

Alone I arrived,

And the same way I’ll die.

No one for company

While I grew inside.

But alone is not lonely,

Do not be so fooled.

Lonely feels hollow,

While alone is yet full.

Alone with my thought,

My desires and dreams,

I’ve discovered the life

I want and need.

Not introverted or selfish,

In solitude am I.

I’ve just learned to

Embrace solitude

And savor quiet time.

When all others fail me

Or leave me excluded

I won’t fret over the loss.

I will embrace my seclusion.

Alone is not lonely,

Do not be deceived.

For when I’m alone,

I learn more about me.

http://mashat.deviantart.com/art/walking-alone-123309004 Walking Alone by Mashat

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Self-Portrait – STCW Writing Challenge

Today’s Throwback Thursday piece made me smile. Four years later, I can’t think of a thing I would change about this (with the exception of the “new” color dotting my hairline. But even that is of minimal concern!) I guess this is what aging gracefully is all about! Happy Thursday friends!

Nikewrites Blog

The face is familiar. There are five different faces looking back at me. My mother, my father, my aunt, my child and my grandfather look back at me. Yet, I’m an original. I remember when I was thinner. My skin was smoother. My hair was longer. My eyes were brighter. Now, there is a veil – a thin film over my face. Life was etched around my eyes, across my forehead, on either side of my mouth. The dark circles under my eyes aren’t from a lack of sleep. Maybe they are. I those dark circles are from the tears I’ve cried. That’s what I think. They are evidence of over-dried tear ducts. The parentheses around my mouth are smile lines. They are frown lines. I smiled for every love I thought I discovered and embraced. Then I scowled when the love I thought was real, vanished like no more…

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To Leave You

For today’s Throwback Thursday post, I dug in the archives and found this poem that I wrote in 2013. I’d almost forgotten about it! I hope you enjoy it! Happy Thursday!
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Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.
-Richard Carlson

To find you

The same way I left you,

Oh, that would be a shame.

Whether you were well

Or down on your fortune,

To be stagnant is a disgrace.

Time is a currency meant to be spent,

Not killed, nor simply passed by,

But it should be spent wisely,

Invested and well accounted,

And enjoyed one moment at a time.

To leave you

The way I found you,

Now, that is a sin for sure!

While, I need not sermonize,

Criticize or scold,

I have a duty to add to your greatness

Whenever we may meet.

It’s my duty as God’s creation

To increase your value

Even if it means I never speak.

If all you require is an open ear,

Then that I will be, for you, with honor.

For to listen,

Is to fulfill your heart’s greatest desire.

Who am I to deprive you of such a treasure?

To live in a box,

Is to regard life as a trifle!

For, to a box we will go

As our final resting place.

When we lay in rest,

Friends and family will recount

Precious moments of our lives.

This audit of time will be marked

By anecdotes of the marks we left on them.

May those memories be kind and true

Whether we receive accolades or not.

You can’t take your treasures with you

When you die.

Don’t exit this world,

Without leaving a deposit.

Beauty is Fleeting

Happy Throwback Thursday peoples!!

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Enjoy today’s piece! 😀

Nikewrites Blog

Young Reflections Young Reflections

“I used to be beautiful,” she said as she looked into the mirror. “Now, I’m old and my beauty is gone.” I studied her reflection as she fixed her hair and put on her earrings. Her skin was dark, and baby soft, without a spot or scar. There were lines across her forehead, around her mouth and at the corners of her eyes.  The skin around her neck was loose, but not lined. I didn’t see any missing beauty. I’d seen pictures of mama when she was twenty. She was just as beautiful today as she was fifty years ago, when the pictures were taken.

“You’re still beautiful, mama.”

“With all these lines in my face? No. Beauty is fleeting. Says so in the bible. Mine faded long ago.”

“But, there’s more to you than your face. You could’ve worn a paper bag over your head from the…

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