Seeking forgiveness is a tricky thing. Your history is examined; your track record, post-offense, is doubted; your motives are questioned and the risk of rejection is great. But sometimes, to be welcomed back into a loved one’s good graces is worth the risk.
Dear Vonnie, I have to live my life in such a way that makes you feel a sense of pride, in spite of my brokenness. My imperfections are like a scarlet letter on your chest. Everyone can see how mu…
A good name is better than fine perfume and the day of death better than the day of birth. Ecclesiastes 7:1, NIV
You’ll be here soon, in just a few weeks. I can’t wait to meet you and discover who you will become. Your dad and I decided not to find out if you are a boy or a girl before you were born. We want to be surprised. I’m in awe that I’ve been chosen to shape who you will be. I’m a little scared, too! I don’t always feel like I have it all together. I mess up often! But here I am, about to be responsible for another life. I don’t want to fail you.
Your great-grandma pointed something out to me. She said that in the bible it says that the day a person dies is better than the day they were born. She said to me, “You could be giving birth to hell on wheels! You don’t know who that baby is! He or she is a blank slate, so make sure you put some good stuff in that child, even before they breath outside of your womb.” I’m going to give you my best. I don’t want to think about your death. That’s a long way off. But I’m going to make sure that everyday between your first breath and your last is good…better than good.
I’m trying to pick up where I left off with the A to Z Challenge, but a few of my short stories are taking on a life of their own, which is good and bad. I’m trying to post daily not weekly! 😀 So, below you will find my very touching “L day” submission. Grab some Kleenex. Happy reading! ❤
April 15, 2014
It’s been a while since we’ve been able to spend any quality time together, our lives being so busy and all. You have classes to teach and children to manage on your own, while taking care of your parents. I have my children and their after school activities, my ailing parents and my own health challenges to worry about. We both put so much time into our respective households that there isn’t much room left for us. You would think that as single parents we’d find a way to balance each other out, support each other. Other couples do it all the time, but they aren’t us. Our circumstances are unique and extremely challenging.
I’m glad you responded to my email today and filled me in on what’s going on with you. I wish we could have had the discussion face to face or by phone. I needed to hear your voice, but I guess our conflicting schedules make things difficult to coordinate.
There never is a really good time or a good way to end a relationship, especially when two people genuinely love each other. I know you love me, and I love you, but I have to agree with you, we have too much on our plates to have a functional, healthy relationship. There aren’t enough hours in the day to meet the needs of our respective families and have something left to offer each other.
It breaks my heart that we had to end things. I’m trying not to cry. I’m trying to be ok with it, but it still hurts so much. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for a person is let them go. I consider this breakup a loving gesture.
I hope the road forward for you smooths out and the drama dies down. You deserve peace and happiness.