Welcome to the new year! This month, planners and organizers are flying off the shelves, gym memberships are up, people are making resolutions that they’ll forget before the month ends, and quippy slogans about how great the is year is going to be are rolling off people’s tongues! Ain’t tradition grand?
There is something to be said for having a symbolic starting point. January 1st seems like a great time to set or reset goals. But maybe, instead of setting goals once a year for the entire year, it might be more manageable to set one or two goals to achieve by the end of each month. That way, one isn’t putting too much pressure on his- or herself. I’ve found that process works for me quite well. I actually get more done and meet more of my goals with this “bite sized” approach than giving myself a 12-month deadline.
So, whether you are setting weight-loss goals, or trying to be better organized in 2017, just remember that there are 365 days in a year. You can only live them one day at a time. Whatever wonderful things you set your hands to, I wish you much success in 2017!
I made that statement to a friend this weekend as we were discussing relationship and personal goals. “But that’s a negative way of thinking,” she said. But it’s not. This is how I explained it to her:
At the start of every year people declare, “This is MY year! This is MY time!” We talk about the things we are going to get and goals we are going to achieve by the close of the year, and we mean it!! We put a great deal of value on the attaining and achieving, but not the process. We become disappointed if it takes longer to achieve our goal than the designated time, and we often give up when it does. If your process ends up taking 730 days instead of 365 (or less), it means that the 365 day window wasn’t your time, and that’s ok.
What happens if you take the time to bask in the process? What will you learn about yourself? What you gain in the end will have greater value because you took the time to go through the process without letting the expiration date on the dream become the mark of success.
Don’t be afraid to say, “It’s not my time.” Learn how to appreciate the process instead.
Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.
This has become something of a personal statement for me as I manage my health. If a person, situation or thing is going to disrupt my peace, and in the process, my mental and physical health, IT MUST GO. It’s not easy, because sometimes that means letting go of people, things and projects you care about. But if it’s not growing you, or otherwise having a positive or beneficial impact on your life, it needs to be eliminated. Your peace is that valuable. Guard it.
I’m continuing the #AtoZChallenge with P for poetry.
I stumbled upon this poem in the notes on my Facebook page. I wrote this piece in 2009 after releasing a few toxic people from my life. Sometimes, the people you love and care about are the ones that hurt you most. Letting them go isn’t cold blooded. It’s self care.
If you are dealing with toxic people in your life, may this poem, Thanks to You, offer you some strength and encouragement. Enjoy!
I got off the bus one stop early today, because I wanted to treat myself to a cup of coffee. I consider it a luxury, as I am trying to curb unnecessary spending and rebuild my savings. In my world, $2.45 for a tall cup of coffee won’t upset the delicate balance of my universe, but it could make a world of difference to someone else.
Here’s what I saw on my way to work this morning:
A mother with two young kids who could not speak english trying to get an all-day pass on the bus, but didn’t have exact change for bus fare. (The driver let her ride anyway.)
An old man walking down the mall talking to himself.
A young disabled man walking down the mall. (I considered that in spite of his impairment, that he may have been on his way to work. He might even own his own business.)
A homeless man stopped, looked into a trash can, pulled out a bag that had a food container in it and started to unwrap the bag to see what might have been left behind.
I’m glad my eyes were open this morning. It made me realized, I have it pretty good.
**Trigger alert: If you are a big softy like me, grab some Kleenex. You’ll need something to catch the teardrops!
I saw this video of little Bailey Matthews a few weeks ago and it brought me to tears (happy tears). I saw him let go of his walker and take off running. He didn’t just let go of the walker. The way he released it, almost felt like he was flinging it to one side. His gait was joyful. The expression on his face was full of excitement and happiness. He saw the finish line and he was going for it! Then, he fell. The mother in me gasped. Yes, I reached out toward the screen, because I was sure that his knee hurt and somebody had to tend to it. I noticed that his father lagged behind, pulling the walker and watching his son. He didn’t go to help him up. He knew what his son would do. Bailey pushed himself up, and took off running again. He fell again. At this point, with the cameras behind him, his face can’t be seen in the video. But his body language says it all! He was determined to finish on his own, and he did!
It’s just a little over a minute worth of video, but it speaks volumes. Bailey has Cerebral Palsy, which causes some challenges with coordination and muscle movement. I didn’t see the, “If he can do that in his condition, anybody can,” cliché inspirational message. I saw him fall. I saw him get back up. Whether because of his condition, or a lump in the ground, he fell and decided not to stay down. In Proverbs 24:16 it says, “For a just man falleth seven times, he riseth up again…” A Japanese proverb similarly states, “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” Falling is not always a choice, but getting back up is. What moved me the most about Bailey getting back up, was that he did it with so much joy! He didn’t waste any time crying, whining or analyzing what caused his fall. He got up and kept going and he did it happily!
So, the next time you fall, remember Bailey. Get back up and run to your finish line joyfully!
Today’s #TBT post is a TedTalk video I posted about a year ago. Chimamanda Adichie, author of “Half of A Yellow Sun,” talks about the danger of the single story. We have all believed in the single story at some point in our lives – even now, many of us believe the “single stories” we hear on the news or read in the papers. We believe the limited information, many times, turning the tale into a stereotype. We end up missing out on the “more” that exists in any given narrative.
She states, “The consequence of the single storyis this: It robs people of dignity.It makes our recognition of our equal humanity difficult.It emphasizes how we are differentrather than how we are similar.”
Take a listen. What do you think about “the single story?” How dangerous do you think it is?
I needed a day to process the news that Maya Angelou passed away. Of course, I know that nobody lives forever, but it didn’t stop me from hoping she would always be around. I wanted to meet her and sit at her feet and listen to whatever wisdom she chose to bless me with. That opportunity is gone.
I regret that I wasn’t able to make it to the University of Delaware last year when she came to speak. I loved listening to her speak! She chose her words very deliberately. She didn’t rush. It seemed to me like she saw all the possible words she could use hovering in her mind, and would pluck the perfect word and drop it into her sentence. I marveled at her ability to say things in the most perfect way. She had a brilliant mind.
I read her books and poetry as a teenager and was amazed by her story. I thought she was bold and courageous. It takes a great deal of courage to share the deepest details of your life with people you know. It takes a greater deal of courage to share, not just to good times, but some of the darker times of your life with the world, in writing. That’s bold. (Memoirs are not an easy thing to write, especially if some of the key players in your life story are still alive!) I appreciated her openness. I was amazed that one person did so much in her life. She travelled, she sang, she acted, she danced, she raised a child, and became a teacher. She was open to life! She LIVED.
I cannot recall which book the quote below was in, but I adopted it as a good way to handle life.
“Hope for the best, be prepared for the worse. Life is shocking, but you must never appear to be shocked. For no matter how bad it is it could be worse and no matter how good it is it could be better.” – Maya Angelou
Her passing isn’t a total surprise. As I said, nobody lives forever. I’m glad to hear that she still writing, her mind was still working and she was still active until she passed. She lived, and I am so grateful for that.
This memo from NPR announcing the introduction of the internet to their business made me laugh. It took me back to my childhood, when the personal computer was just starting to become a big thing.
When I was young, my father taught me and my brothers basic programming on a Commodore 64, our first home computer. He refused to get us the Atari gaming system, much to our disappointment. We did get a Nintendo a few years later. Duck Hunt was our favorite game….but, I’m getting off track. Dad figured that it was better for us to learn how to use a computer so we could get a really good job by the time we graduated from high school…about years later. He was right. (Thanks Dad!)
I didn’t realize at that time that having access to a home computer was such a big deal. I know everyone didn’t have one, but because my father worked on computers for a living, it wasn’t so strange for us to have one.
It is amazing how much technology has changed since then. We’ve gone from huge, bulky screens and boxes on our desktop to computers that fix into our pocket. The internet used to be accessible by phone…no, not a cell phone, but a phone plugged into a wall. Sending and receiving a fax was considered the fast way to communicate in print. Now, we text and video chat on our cell phones. It all makes you wonder how much all of this will change over the next 20 or 30 years. I look forward to finding out!
I haven’t been able to sleep lately. I fall asleep at midnight and wake up two hours later thinking I got a good night’s rest, until I look at the clock. My heart sinks every time it happens. The cause of these sleepless nights is two parts stress, and one part autoimmune disorder and the pain that comes with it. Last night, was a good night! I fell asleep at midnight, and woke up at 4 AM, and ENTIRE hour before my first alarm goes off! Truthfully, I almost threw a hissy-fit because I wanted that one hour! But I decided to be grateful and thank God that I slept as long as I did without waking up every hour.
I decided to make good use of my time. I was awake. God is awake. I figured it was a good time for me and Him to chat. I don’t do that often. I usually talk to God throughout the day about little stuff. Like:
Dear God, PLEASE change the traffic light! I’m about to be late for work.
or
God, I am so sleepy, please help me make it to the end of my shift!
This winter, my conversations were more like:
Seriously God? MORE snow?! Why do we need more snow?!
But there was one conversation I had with Him, where I told him how tired I was. I got transparent with him. I went through the “why me” of the autoimmune situation, and finally settled in my mind that this disorder is what I have to deal with, now. I didn’t have a choice. I had the, “If it’s your will, Lord,” conversation with God. When it comes to health, it’s actually easy to say, “If it’s your will, God, let it be so,” because you are usually already in the midst of the issue at that point. But, I decided to extend that prayer. I asked Him to take away the condition, if it was his will, but I asked Him to take away other things, too. That’s a more difficult prayer. At that point, you are laying everything on the line; family, friends, the job you love, the possessions you worked hard for and cherish and that He blessed you with. Now, I did punctuate that prayer with, “but if you don’t need to take anything, don’t.” Because I didn’t REALLY want God to feel obligated to take anything. He’s not a genie in the bottle, after all! He immediately went to work! He shaved a lot of things out of my life that made functioning day-to-day easier on me. But, He took something that was very important to me, something that I wanted to keep. I was about to complain to Him about it when He reminded me of my prayer. I had to shut my mouth and accept the loss.
How often do you hear people celebrate God answering prayer when He gives them something? Often, I’m sure. How often do you hear people celebrate when God takes something they wanted? Not so much. But this is a learning process. There is a scripture in the bible that says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) It reminds me that A.) what was taken is not the worse loss that I can suffer, and B.) God has a plan for my life, which means He will take things out of my way that may have been blocking me, or moving me in the wrong direction.
So, all this to say, that at 4AM this morning, I began celebrating God remembering and answering my prayer. He is taking me somewhere and I can’t go to that opportunity He has planned for me with excess baggage slowing me down!
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